


Here Comes A Feeling I Can't Explain

by DatYungCoconut



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Age Difference, Eventual Smut, F/M, First Love, Fluff, Lemon, Older Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Older Man/Younger Woman, Overprotective Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Pining, Romance, Smut, Yakuza, Yakuza Levi, levi is romantic but doesnt know what to do with his feelings, so he becomes overprotective and tries to be aloof and cool, this is honestly more of a romance i swear
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:08:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27069874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DatYungCoconut/pseuds/DatYungCoconut
Summary: Life was never easy on Levi. Following the death of his mother at a young age, committing petty theft and small crimes just so he could survive in the Underground- he joined the Ackerman family after his talents were recognized by its family head, Erwin Smith. He's got everything he could ever want in the yakuza: money, prestige, power - he's got it all figured out.What he can't figure out, however, is you.A mere university student who drunkenly stumbled into him at a convenience store one night.Certainly you couldn't be the answer... but you made him forget all his questions.
Relationships: Levi & Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi/Reader
Comments: 30
Kudos: 110





	1. Encounter

"Please sir, I didn't mean for it- I mean I didn't realize- no! I didn't know tha-"  
"Shut up. You knew what you agreed to when you took the oath. You killed that civilian, you know what that entails. Don't make this difficult.”

Levi gazed around the pristine, large office. The white walls were adorned with a gold trim, with a long, glass coffee table running along the center of the room. Along the end farthest from the door sat Erwin in a spacious black leather seat, with Levi standing next to him. Across the other end was the new recruit, head bowed to the floor and slightly trembling.

“Levi, the tanto.”

Levi nodded and uncrossed his arms, leaving his spot from the right of Erwin and retrieving the sharp elongated knife along with the ceremonial board. As he placed the items in front of the kneeling man, he thought of how many times he’s repeated the same actions before and how many times he’s witnessed the same events from previous brothers who’ve broken one of the family’s rules.

The low-ranked brother’s head rose and eyes widened in realization and fear of what he was next expected to do. With tears brimming in his eyes and his heart pounding and ringing loudly in his ears, he shakily picked up the knife and positioned a portion of his left pinky below it.

As Levi witnessed the man yelp in agony taking his punishment, his eyes watched boredly as he thought of what else he had to do before the night ended. _Maybe he’ll stop by the corner store for some painkillers, after all his headache had been acting up-_

“I hope this served as a lesson. Leave us now,” Erwin spoke.

As the door closed promptly behind them, Erwin sighed. “These new recruits - they keep making trouble. Levi, check in on who’s been training them, they’re supposed to watch them closely.”

Levi nodded. “I bet you it’s Braun who keeps fucking up. I’ll look into it tomorrow. If there’s nothing else, I’m leaving to check in on that place we talked about yesterday.”

“That’s fine. Are you coming to the dinner with all the other heads later? You know it’s important to keep up images; you haven’t attended one of these in months.”

Levi scoffed, “I’d much rather choke myself to death than go to one of those dinners again, Erwin. To be honest, I don’t know why you even fucking bother either. It’s not like you actually like going to those - besides, you’re the head. You can do whatever the fuck you want.”

Erwin chuckled, leaning back into his seat. He pulled out a cigar from his suit pocket, and Levi leaned forward to light it for him. As he exhaled the smoke, he smiled, “if anyone ever heard my First Lieutenant talking to me like that, my reputation would be in ruins.”

The corner of Levi’s mouth twitched up in slight amusement. “Tch. I’ve known you for years -you have all of my respect and loyalty. I talk how I talk, Erwin. I’m not gonna change that shit for anyone. I’ll see you in the morning, have fun getting drunk with a bunch of idiots.”

Erwin shook his head, knowing that Levi wasn’t the kind to care much for the politics of the job, something that Erwin admired most about him. Levi was more than capable of taking care of himself - in fact, Erwin had never seen someone with Levi’s flexibility and athleticism in his entire life; it helped that Levi did a damn good job at everything he’s assigned. He was someone Erwin trusted absolutely with his own life, and that was something he didn’t take lightly.

Levi walked out of the office and into the elevators when he let out a large sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. _Just get through this meeting, then you can go home and retire for the night._

\----

The club was so full tonight. You could feel the warmth of the neon lights burning as they flashed around on your skin and the sixth drink you were on that night finally getting to you.

“One more shot?” Eren suggested, smiling down at you as you were both on the dance floor.

“I really can’t, I think - _hiccup!_ \- I think I’m done for the night, Eren. I’m starting to get nauseous, I don’t think I’d survive another one,” you replied, cheeks flushed from the alcohol and face hot from the proximity of all the other club attendees. “Besides, the birthday girl is all alone. Go see if Mikasa wants another one!”

“If you insist. I’ll be at the booth with the others, let me know if you need anything,” Eren persisted, before heading off to Mikasa who was sitting in the booth, her long black hair draping her face as she gently swayed to the music and fiddled with her drink.

You were having a good time. You took your last midterm today and you were feeling confident and relaxed after a grueling week of intensive studying well into the AMs every single night. When Armin mentioned that they were taking Mikasa out for her birthday, you jumped at the opportunity to finally spend some time with your college friends that didn't include being stuck in a library for hours on end.

The night was drawing to a close - you were way past your regular preferred threshold of drunk. The string of men who approached you that night and insisted on buying you a drink didn't help in the matter, you just kept happily accepting and sneaking those drinks to your friends all night. You were craving sweets, which normally never happens but a specific candy from the convenience store next to your apartment kept popping into your mind, and you were determined to buy some before the night ended.

You approached the booth with all your friends and told them your intent, and you all left the club and piled into Eren’s car, laughing and making jokes about Eren’s latest haircut.

“I mean, is the length too much? I swear he’s such a try hard,” Armin laughed.

Mikasa, generally quiet, shyly responded, “I kinda like it.”

“Of course you would, Mikasa!” laughed the back seat, leading the blush on Mikasa's face to grow darker.

When the car finally reached your apartment, you bid your friends goodbye and looked for your phone in your purse to respond to your mom’s texts from earlier that night. The screen lit up in your face and you flinched. _12:16am already?_ Out of the corner of your eye was a bright light that caught your attention, and you turned to look at the sign of the convenience store you kept thinking of that night. You thought of your sweets.

As you walked down your street (not very elegantly), you reached the entrance and stumbled our way in. _Fuck, I’m more tipsy than I realized._ You squint your eyes to reduce your double vision and locate that packet of lemon flavored gummy squares you accidentally stumbled upon one day and absolutely loved. "Painkillers," you thought. "I should also grab some painkillers for my hangover tomorrow, I can already tell this is going to be my worst one yet."

There was virtually no one in the store, aside from the man in the medicinal aisle that you just turned into. He was wearing a dark suit, which you thought was strange. You don’t usually see anyone dressed so formally this late at night.

Lost in the sea of your thoughts, you failed to spy one of the tiles, which had a broken corner jutting up, and consequently tripped over and fell directly into the man in the suit.

“God! Sorry - I completely didn’t see that tile and I just completely tripped-”

You fumbled when you looked up directly to a pair of steel-grey eyes, narrowing at you suspiciously. You suddenly become nervous and find it difficult to maintain eye contact with the handsome man. He had such striking features, and such a defined jawline; _do regular people look like that?_ You didn’t know undercuts could look so good. You make eye level with a golden, circular pin stuck onto the outside of his suit. Is that some kind of crest?

“Ah, sorry I bumped into you. Are you hur-”

“Do you know who I am?” the mysterious man finally spoke.

“No," your eyes narrowed. "Should I?” _Was he in my class or something?_

“Did someone send you? What do you want?”

You begin to grow agitated. The alcohol was still coursing through your veins prominently.

“No, what kind of question even is that? No one _sent_ me - listen, I’m sorry. I didn’t bump into you on purpose and honestly I’m just trying to get some painkillers, if you’re done choosing then I kindly ask that you please move? You’re in the way of what I need.”

The man with the grey eyes stared silently at you. His contemplation lingered for a brief moment before stepping out of your way, right hand politely extended out as a sign of him letting you access the meds before you both.

You silently thanked him before grabbing what you needed and heading to pay for your items. You feel his eyes following you everywhere you go, but he doesn’t speak another word. As you finish checking out, you walk towards the exit and accidentally fumble and drop the candy you bought.

You let out a small sigh and attempt to bend over without absolutely falling flat on your face when a hand extends out and picks up the packet before you do. You glance up and see that it’s the man from earlier and shyly accept his outreached hand with the lemon candy.

“Thank you,” you murmur, trying again not to look directly at him.

“Interesting taste. You’re a bit clumsy. Are you... intoxicated?” he asks.

You assess the man and determine that although he is a little weird, he doesn’t seem dangerous. He exhibited such a calm aura and his tone seemed genuinely concerned.

Admittedly, you break a small smile as if you got caught. “A little, honestly. I went out drinking to celebrate a good friend’s birthday tonight.” Why the hell were you telling him that?

“Young ladies shouldn’t be wandering out alone at night, you know. It’s dangerous out there.”

You huff a little, “I can take care of myself, thank you. Plus, I live nearby so it’s not that dangerous. I shouldn’t even be talking to you right now, shouldn't young ladies like myself talk to strangers they don’t know?” you smile playfully. You were feeling a little bold tonight. Laughing, you assert, “besides, who honestly in this day and age still wears full suits? Are you part of the mafia or something?” 

_Does she not recognize my pin?_

“Either way, I have to go now. It was nice talking to you, stranger.” You turn around and exit the doors.

“Levi,” he states.

You turn around. “What did you say?”

“My name. It’s Levi. Just so you know next time that I'm not a stranger. Or some mafia guy.”

You respond with a small grin, “I’ll see you around Levi.”

As you walk away, Levi couldn’t help but stare after you until you disappeared from his line of sight. He’s never met a civilian who talked to him so boldly, especially not after seeing his pin. The confidence you had talking to him after the fact makes him feel strange; an unknown foreign sensation taking over his body. He doesn’t recognize the feeling.

Levi walks towards his car and drives home, exhausted from how the day's events had transpired. He wants nothing more than to retire with a strong brew of jasmine and think over the day. His intrusive thoughts plague him more than usual tonight. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i started writing levi fanfiction. i am deeper into this than i originally thought LOL. please share thoughts and comments as this is my first fanfic ever! harsh criticism is also welcome lmao - i will be updating pretty frequently as this is my only escape from studying pls send help


	2. Hesitance

A long drag from the cigar, an exhale of smoke. The thin layer of smoke flooding the room is a familiar feeling that you can't quite name.

A pair of gray eyes glances across the room, finally landing back on the middle aged man sitting in front of him and Erwin. 

“The drop goes down at 0100 hours tonight. I have Braun and the younger ones stationed at the outpost already and have confirmed the deal again with Katou's lieutenant. Everything should go smoothly,” he reports.

“Thank you, Miche. That will be all, you’re dismissed.” Erwin sits back on his chair, blowing out another puff of smoke from the cigar wedged in between his fingers.

“Yes, sir.” As his figure leaves and the click of the door closes, Levi turns to look at Erwin, his arms crossed.

“You know, word is Katou’s guys are planning some shit to pull tonight.”

“So I’ve heard. Will you go tonight to make sure everything goes smoothly, Levi?”

“Already on it. The damn bastard’s always planning something. If he didn’t control the mainline arms distribution in this region we wouldn’t have to deal with shit like this. You’re planning something, aren’t you? We haven’t dealt with Katou and his shitfaced underlings in a while,” Levi asserts, taking a seat to the right of Erwin.

The blonde man smiles and exhales, “You’re always three steps ahead, Levi. Yes, I have something in the works - that’s the reason why I asked you to come in today. What do you make of this?” Erwin pulls out a sheet from the locked drawer in his desk and begins to point at figures on the paper.

Levi listens intently to the best of his ability, however, something kept bothering him - _keeps_ bothering him all day. In the back of his mind, he aggressively thinks back to yesterday night at the convenience store. The little drunken wobble when you stepped into the aisle. The blush on your face when you accepted his outreached hand. The soft and delicate touch from your fingers. The reluctance to talk to him, _before_ seeing his pin. Your disregard for the family pendant altogether. That _fucking_ lemon candy. Who the hell were you? You mentioned you lived nearby. Does that mean you also go to the university just down the block? How come-

“Levi.” 

“What?” he snapped, upset about being caught off guard from work. The hell? Why does he care about any of that shit? Why can’t he stop thinking about the faint memory of your hands?

“Is something bothering you? How do you feel about the strategy?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. The plan’s good. You already know what I’m about to say - just make sure you have Miche handle the execution and I’ll follow through cleanly. It’s smart.”

Erwin eyes him, suspicion lingering behind, but he doesn’t pursue it further. “All right. Your go ahead is all I need.”

“Hey, how’d the ass kissing go? Get piss drunk? Exchange a few pleasantries?”

Erwin’s mouth opens to let out a dismissive laugh. “Nothing much, honestly. Just keeping up appearances, which honestly is something I wish you would take the time to do every now and then. It benefits the family, you know,” he prods.

“I know what you’re trying to say, Erwin. Don’t push me.” Levi’s arms cross together firmly.

Erwin puts his hands up to mimic defeat of the subject, “all right, I won’t push further but you know how I feel about these things. It’s not just about putting our heads down and doing the work, though I know you do that well. Just consider going to the gathering in two weeks. I’ll give you a weekend off if you do.”

“Tch.” Levi rolls his eyes but doesn't say anything more.

Erwin smirks, knowing his bargaining chip was too good to pass on. He waves his hand, dismissing Levi as he turns to head out of Erwin’s office. 

Levi adjusts his suit, eyes lazily glancing to acknowledge the bows of the younger brothers paying their respects. His mind flashes back to you. He needs to know more.

He descends down the stairs to his car. He needs to clear his head. Pulling out his phone, he swiftly dials a number and puts the device to his ear.

“It’s me. Private business. I need you to find more information on a girl.”

\----------

“Fuck, that’s hot.”

You set the coffee down next to your laptop, stretching out your sore neck and allowing a break for your fingers from the essay you’ve been typing at for the past two hours.

The cafe is buzzing today, with it being a Sunday and the students finally taking the time to catch up from the week. The small chatter and the scent of the coffee provides a nice relaxing environment for you and Eren to work diligently.

“God, I don’t think I fully recovered from Mikasa’s party,” Eren groans, looking away from his laptop to bury his head in his arms. “I feel like I still have a mild headache that just won’t go away. It’s the persistence of the headache that’s the worst fucking part.”

“Maybe you just need a good meal,” you smile and suggest, “do you want to go to that ramen place after this?”

Eren immediately perks up. “Are you talking about the one close to your apartment? I haven’t had it in forever. Let’s go after I finish this assignment.”

You laugh lightly at his enthusiasm. Your attention suddenly flashes to the bird soaring past the window, landing on the tree outside.

“I haven’t heard from Mikasa since we dropped her off on Friday. We should text her or something, I wonder if she even had a good time.” You say, leaning on your elbows as you continue staring outside.

“She actually texted me yesterday. Said she had a good time,” Eren replies dully. Suddenly, he appears uninterested in the conversation.

Your attention is drawn to him. “What’s wrong?”

He shifts uncomfortably in his seat and avoids your gaze. “She told me that night in the club that she had feelings for me, or whatever. I thought it was weird, and so I was honest and said I didn’t think of her in that way. She’s like my little sister. I didn’t even have a clue she thought we were even like that. I thought all the teasing was because I was like her big brother, I didn’t know it was meant in a different context.”

You are a little stunned at the admittance of her sudden bold confession. You reply gently, “that’s okay. I know you guys have a complicated history, emotions are a weird thing to process for everyone. I hope it doesn’t change the dynamic between you two.” 

His gaze is affixed on his coffee cup resting on the table. He grabs it, and relays in a lower tone, “and besides. I love Mikasa, but I don't _love_ her. There’s no way I would ever date her." He mumbles the last part, "I have my eyes set on someone already, actually.”

Your eyes widen with interest and you lean forward enthusiastically to grab his other hand in intrigue. “No way, who is it? Why is this the first time you’ve mentioned her? Do I know her?”

His body tenses slightly at your sudden touch and he jerks his hand away, covering his embarrassment with a cough. “Ugh, stop, I knew you were gonna be like this. You don’t know her, but I’ve liked her for a while. That's all I feel like saying. I feel uncomfortable bringing this up, I already regret it. I’ll tell you another day.” He reaches to pack his stuff up. 

You pout slightly at his sudden disconnect, but choose to respect it. You begin to pack your own things and reach for your phone. “All right, let’s get a move on then. I think that place is going to be packed soon." You look at him seriously. "But Eren, all jokes aside, just know you can tell me anything.” You give him a soft encouraging smile. 

He stares back and replies with a smile and a nod, ... _a_ _nything, huh._

As you two head out the door, laughing with excitement for the restaurant, you fail to recognize the man with the steel grey eyes watching you curiously from the other side of the cafe. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls don't ever major in biochem, you'll find urself with no free time and depression LOL
> 
> tiny update finally after finals :) let me know if anyone is actually still reading this lmao, i'll update more often if you guys want!
> 
> comments are always appreciated <3


	3. Wonder

“I haven’t felt this full since Christmas at your place back in 8th grade.”

Eren groans and walks out of the restaurant, a hand on his forehead and the other resting on his stomach, emphasizing his satiety in an exaggerated fashion. You let out a laugh in agreement as you both walk towards his car parked in the back.

“That night was so funny. If I recall, that was the first time I had learned that you can throw up if you have too much pudding. I swear, you just kept knocking them back. You were the worst person to take care of, seriously - all you did was whine about how much you hated the act of purging- _but you still kept eating_.” You beam as you recollect the memory.

You both quickly make your way to Eren’s car and close the doors to turn the heater on. The days were just getting increasingly colder. He backs out of the parking lot and proceeds to drive the route to your apartment to drop you off.

As you bid him goodnight and wave goodbye, you watch as Eren drives off before you begin looking for your home keys in your purse. You check your phone for the time - 10:11pm. Three messages from Armin asking about the homework assignment, one from the girl in your club asking about the fundraising event you were planning, and another from Eren bidding you goodnight and reminding you of Tuesday’s study session.

You enter your apartment and set your belongings down and sink into your couch to reply to all your messages. You unpack your laptop from your backpack as a reminder to send a few emails out tonight, and begin your nightly routine thereafter.

The electric kettle is filled with water as you leave it to boil before removing your makeup in the bathroom and prepping for your shower. Your clothes are discarded and thrown into the laundry hamper and you open the glass door to step into the steaming water and let it engulf you. 

When you finish your shower and begin making your tea, you pull out a lemon from the fruit bowl to slice and add to it. 

“Ow! Oh, shi- jesus, that scared me.” You accidentally nick your pinky while cutting the lemon and you caress the wound in an attempt to stop the bleeding. I _don’t have any band-aids left in the house, damn. I’ll need to buy more._

You wrap up your digit in a makeshift bandage with a rolled up tissue and grab your keys and a cardigan before putting on your shoes and leaving for the convenience store down the street. The cold air pierces through you as you wrap the cardigan closer to your body. The bright lights of the store are a stark contrast to the night sky your eyes grew accustomed to. 

As you make your way to the first aid section near the medicinal area, you bend down to swiftly look over the choices. Your eyes land on the box and you grab it, along with a little antibiotic ointment.

You straighten up and turn around to exit the aisle and head towards the register, before almost running straight into a tall figure coming in-

“You again.” The voice and the abruptness of the situation makes you look up in surprise. The box almost slips out of your hands and you catch it before it can fall.

“Oh, excuse m- oh! It’s you!” you flash a small grin from the recognition. “From the other night… Levi, right?” you reply, cheeks flaring up slightly from both the prospect of almost running straight into him again as well as the close proximity between you two. You take the opportunity to look him over quickly as you readjust your items. He’s wearing a similar suit to the one from your last encounter, only this one is a shade darker and he has a dark collared shirt underneath to match. His top two buttons are undone, exposing a gold chain adorned underneath. 

“Yes, you… remembered.” He pauses, thinking something over quickly. His eyes then flash to the items in your hands. “You seem to be in need of first aid quite a lot,” he comments. "First the painkillers, now bandaids and antiseptic ointment..." he trails off. He notices your pinky finger wrapped up in a little tissue, most likely in an attempt to treat the small wound. _How dreadfully cute._

“Oh, that. I owe you an apology, I’m sorry if I was in any way rude to you that night. I was out drinking with some friends and might not have been on my best behavior.” You shift your weight and look at him apologetically, a bashful smile on your face. 

He stares wordlessly at you, the same expression on his face. He nods his head slightly to acknowledge your apology. He finds himself, strangely, not knowing what to say. The feeling is frustrating. He can’t stop looking at your face and the way your hair adorns it perfectly. He finds your attire confusing; no, what’s confusing is how little he’s put off by it. Normally, he would view wearing pajamas in public with distaste, but it confuses him how oddly endearing it finds it on you. His brows furrow in contemplation. 

“Ah, anyways… It was really nice seeing you around Levi.” You meet his eyes boldly before giving him your name. “Just in case I run into you again. I seem to be doing that a lot. You live around here too, I'm assuming?”

“Somewhat close. I just finished my… work, nearby, and this store conveniently happens to carry my preferred pack of smokes.”

By god, you don’t know what demon from the seventh dimension of hell possess you to reply to his explanation with, “Well, that _is_ why they call it a _convenient_ store.”

…

Levi’s expression still doesn’t change as he stares blankly back at you. You slap your forehead mentally. _What the fuck is wrong with you._ “That was a bad joke. I’m sorry.” You attempt to laugh off the awkward exchange as you rake your head to come up with something to say.

“Uh yeah, um, I’m really going to get going now to check out, my finger’s starting to throb.” you offer an awkward smile and hold your left pinky up to make your point and take the opportunity to slide past him. You add, “Hey listen, if your work ever brings you in the area again, my club’s holding a fundraiser for a local charity all of next week at the front of the university courtyard. Maybe you can stop by and say hello if you happen to see me.”

With that, you can’t find it to converse any longer and you dash past him to check out and swiftly exit the store and back to your apartment. You don't bother looking behind you, and you miss the glint in Levi's eyes as they follow you out the store; watching, observing. 

As you lock the door behind you, you release a sigh you didn’t know you had been holding in. You tend to your finger and crawl into bed, exhausted and determined to fall into a deep sleep to deflect and dismiss any thoughts you might have. Any and every thought. Although, as much as you keep avoiding thinking of the man in the dark suit, you can’t help but remember how his cool gaze seemed to burn straight into you. 

Sleep doesn’t come easy that night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know how you feel about the story thus far : )


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